so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
