Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My penis needs a shock collar
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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