I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
