Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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