she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My dick has a subreddit
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
