how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
