Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
