Say something about gay babies.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Terrible idea I love it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
