Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
