So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
