I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
