any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
