angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
