yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
