CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
