Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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