A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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