Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
