if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
