i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
