we'll go far in life on tits alone.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
