he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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