Rock
Scissors
Fuck
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How naked do you want me to be?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
