Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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