This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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