So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize