i think i have two assholes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How's work?
Spinning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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