Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
