nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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