Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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