I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
