Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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