your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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