There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want a musical about memes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
