oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
