A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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