Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
