That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
