I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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