just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Farmville is her only friend.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
