The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
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