All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
