I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
