This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
is it fun? or sober?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
