road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
