she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
pop tarts are not kleenex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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