Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
