i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
