your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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