How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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