I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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