OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you never un-have a 4some
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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