I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
