dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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