Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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