She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
