Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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