So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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