the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
