Me. At least after what I've been through.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
