Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
