Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize