bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
