It's Friday. Sex?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
