Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
